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UFC 51 - Super Saturday by Arcot @ 2005-02-09 16:15:39
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Paul Buentello vs. Justin Eilers
First off I would like to point out that Justin Eilers is an ugly box-headed man. With that established, Buentello dominated this whole fight and knocked Eilers out in the first round. Eilers had one of those good ol delayed-leg-giver-outters. It reminded me of the time Fujita got Fedor with a good shot and he almost went down all fish-legged. I chuckle every time I see that video clip.
Prediction: None
Winner: Paul Buentello via K.O.
James Irvin vs. Mike Kyle
Goldberg and Rogan both ranted and raved about how good this James Irvin was before the match. I was not impressed with this mush at all in this match. He got his ass dropped in the frist round by a real nice right hand. He reminded me of Robbie Lawler the way he pretty much just let his opponent punch him in the head at will.
Prediction: None
Winner: Mike Kyle via K.O.
David Terrell vs. Evan Tanner
Once again before this match, both Goldberg and Rogan ranted and raved about how good David Terrell was. Early in the match Terrell did do a pretty good job. He seemed to have the advantage standing up and was supposed to be a magician on the ground. Alas, Tanner got him down and on top and just plain owned Terrell until the ref stopped the match. I didn't see any attempt by Terrell to do jack shit on the ground, he just kind of covered his head and took a beating.
Prediction: None
New Middleweight Champion: Evan Tanner via T.K.O.
Andrei Arlovski vs. Tim Sylvia
After watching this match I'm pretty convinced Tim Sylvia is one of the most over-rated fighters out there. He always looks so akward in the ring. Arlovski landed a solid punch early in the first round that dropped the big man on his ass. Arlovski tried to get in close and pound him on the ground but gave up on that since Sylvia resisted the attempt fairly well. Arlovski then switched over and grabbed his legs and submitted him with a foot lock. He made it look real easy too. I like Arlovski the hairy Belarussian, he looks a little like he has a screw loose.
Prediction: Tim Sylvia
New Interim Heavyweight Champion: Andrei Arlovski via Submission
Phil Baroni vs. Pete Sell
This match was the most boring of the night. In the first round, Sell got Baroni on his back and Baroni didn't do a single thing while he was there. He pretty much just hugged Sell until they got stood up again. Sell looked very weak while standing up and probably had no desire to strike with Baroni. As the fight progressed Sell seemed more comfortable standing up though. I gave the first round to Sell and the second to Baroni. Even though Baroni got on top a few times he didn't do much of anything on top. You could tell all he wanted to do was win the fight by decision because if he didn't, he may never be asked to fight in the UFC again. One can only hope this actually happens. In the 3rd round Baroni was getting gased like usual and leaving himself open for a choke. Guess what happened. He got choked and tapped giving Sell a victory that wasn't really very impressive. I have to admit that the only entertaining part of the match was when they interviewed Baroni afterwards. He was slurring like a drunken sailor and you could barely make out what he was saying. The New York Bad Ass was ready to start crying cause even he knows he sucks.
Prediction: None
Winner: Pete Sell via Submission
Tito Ortiz vs. Vitor Belfort
Let me start off by saying my hatred for Tito Ortiz grows every time he fights. This fact probably hinders my ability to judge his fights fairly. Belfort dominated the stand up game which lasted for the majority of the first round after which Ortiz got Belfort down and didnt really do too much damage. Belfort had an enormous flurry in round 2 and got a few good shots in on Tito but didn't finish him off and gased himself out in the process. At this point I gave Belfort both rounds 1 and 2. In round 3 Tito dominated as he got Belfort down at will and pounded on him pretty good while having him down. Boring stuff but effective, typical Tito style. Tito ended up winning the split decision but I can't say that I'm surprised even though I disagreed, it was a pretty even matchup. After the victory, Tito proceeded to show the world why he is the king of all douchebags. He runs into the stands, which probably consisted of a 50/50 mix of fans liking/hating the guy. As gay as that was he decided to continue the gayness and start trash talking Chuck Liddell and Ken Shamrock. He uses some of the weakest material I've ever heard and actually said "I'm Rick James and your my bitch". What kind of fucking hurting individual would say that other than some hurtbag that plays EQ and trash talks on message boards all day. Unfortunately, Shamrock was in attendance and they gave him a microphone. He continually challenged Tito to a match and in the process made as much an ass of himself as Tito did. I would like to see these fags have a re-match and both pound each other into retirement.
Prediction: Tito Ortiz
Winner: Tito Ortiz via Split Decision
There were 3 other matches on the card that they didn't actually show on the PPV. These matches all had no predictions so here are just the results.
David Loiseau defeated Gideon Ray via T.K.O.
Karo Parisyan defeated Chris Lytle via Decision
Nick Diaz defeated Drew Fickett via T.K.O.
If the UFC focused more on the fighting and less on the spectacle and glitter and shit, as well as all the titties in the audience (although I do like them) it would probably be alot more entertaining. This is why I prefer Pride over the UFC. Another thing, I don't give a shit which celebrities are in the audience, that doesn't make your product any better, just give me some fucking fighting.
Prediction Engine Records
This Event: 1-1
All-Time: 5-1 |
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Serena Williams Is A Man by Arcot @ 2005-01-31 19:53:09
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I just wanted to clear up the confusion about Serena Williams. It seems he has alot of people convinced that he is a woman. Not only is Serena Williams not a woman, he is not a regular man either. He is in fact a gay man. No straight man would start their own clothing line. I know you want some proof so I went and got some.
I realize lots of women have guns like that but this is just the first sign of manishness. When you combine this with the rest of the evidence there is no denying the fact that he is man.
I don't know about you but I don't know many women that don't shave their armpits on a very regular basis. Just another sign of the lack of estrogen contained in his body.
As you can clearly see, once in awhile he forgets to shave and a hint of his mexican mustache peeks through the makeup. No real woman would let such a thing happen. I even got a shot of before they put all the makeup on him for that photo. It's not pretty but the truth must be known.
Sorry you had to see that but I felt it was necessary.
Here we find him with his brother, another freak of nature who has people fooled into believing he is in fact a woman. I won't even get into that since this picture clearly annihilates that misconception.
Now, we all know Martina Navratalova (if that's even spelt right) is a man. I mean, this was discovered like 30 years ago. As you can see though, Serena is a big fan of Martina's penis. There is speculation that they are in fact a couple.
If this isn't the last straw, I don't know what is. He is hung like Jack Napier. If your still not convinced Serena Williams is in fact a man, I will bash you brutally. I will admit one thing though, his ass would be fantastic for a woman. |
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Fuck McDonald's by Farva @ 2005-01-17 14:06:06
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Did you realize that you can eat an ENTIRE medium bacon double cheeseburger pizza at Pizza Pizza and intake less fat than a McDonalds Double Quarter Pounder combo? Now I knew it was really fatty greasy food but this is a little extreme. Maybe its because assholes like this guy :

make it seem like you can eat this shit every single day. This asshole has eaten over 20,000 big macs, when he hit 20,000 every news paper had something written about how he ate 20,000 big macs and he’s only 170 pounds. They don’t really explain how. How you ask? That’s ALL this asshole eats, 2 big macs, fries and a coke for an entire day worth of eating. This just screams “healthy diet”. No where does it say that he’s probably dieing of a “special sauce” ulcer or that his dump probably contains tape worms. Mmm Special Sauce, ingredients: Bad Butter, Lard and Love.
Have you ever eaten in a McDonalds? Yes. Of course you have. Have you ever noticed that in most of these “prison like” establishments that the chairs are bolted to the ground, the lights are on “Nick Notle Interrogation” level of brightness (aka: real god damn bright), and there is no music? So you walk in, order the McGrease with cheese and try and wedge your enormous ass between the table and the bolted down chair. MMMMMmmmmm comfort. Now I know you’re going to argue that all fast food places are like this, well I disagree, I was at Taco Bell increasing my risk of colon cancer last week, and they had some FANTASTIC extremely low quality radio signal music on their intercom system. That’s what I call fine dining. Shit, Wendy’s even calls their chumbucket sitting area the “dining room”.
The only good thing to come out of McDonald’s was this lump-of-shit mutant right here:

You know why they made this thing up? It was so that kids wouldn’t be scared when their parents started to look like this lump of lard after eating McDonald’s for a few years. |
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Stupidness by Arcot @ 2005-01-12 19:18:05
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The other day, Farva and I were driving around doing donuts in his powerhouse of a Hyundai in the snow since there was a ton of it around. Ok, so Farva was doing all the donuts, WHAT OF IT. Anyways, I felt the desire to do something stupid as well. We have it on video so enjoy. Or do enjoy and go burn in hell. Your perogative.
Clip #1
Clip #2 :: You can't really see anything but it sure made a good sound.
Clip #3 |
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Top 10 Heavy Metal Albums Of All-Time by Arcot @ 2005-01-08 10:58:36
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I got an e-mail from my good man at www.counterattack.info asking me and a couple of other people to come up with a "Top 10 Heavy Metal Albums Of All-Time". I decided to make my own list and asked Farva to do the same. Here are the results. You'll notice we listen to alot of the same music.
| Arcot |
Farva |
| 10. Metallica - Master Of Puppets | 10. Jason Becker - Perpetual Burn |
| 9. Megadeth - Countdown To Extinction | 9. Megadeth - Youthanasia |
| 8. Black Sabbath - We Sold Our Soul For Rock 'N' Roll | 8. Pantera - Cowboys From Hell |
| 7. Liquid Tension Experiment 2 | 7. Blind Guardian - Nightfall In Middle Earth |
| 6. Annihilator - King Of The Kill | 6. Symphony X - The Odyssey |
| 5. Pantera - Vulgar Display Of Power | 5. Liquid Tension Experiment 2 |
| 4. Dream Theater - Six Degrees Of Inner Turbulence | 4. Dream Theater - Images And Words |
| 3. Blind Guardian - Nightfall In Middle Earth | 3. Annihilator - Set The World On Fire |
| 2. Dream Theater - Train Of Thought | 2. Dream Theater - Six Degrees Of Inner Turbulence |
| 1. Dream Theater - Metropolis Pt. 2 Scenes From A Memory | 1. Dream Theater - Metropolis Pt. 2 Scenes From A Memory |
It probably looks like we discussed our lists but we made them without making any suggestions to each other.
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